The chant
Of hope,peace,love
Traverses through my soul
Of hope,peace,love
Traverses through my soul
butterfly riding rainbow dreams,
Vibrant hues sparkle paints the stream and clouds
I encircle the shrine redeeming dreams
Rosaries blink like stars
the monks whisper
The chant
Vibrant hues sparkle paints the stream and clouds
I encircle the shrine redeeming dreams
Rosaries blink like stars
the monks whisper
The chant
Lines 4 and 6 need curtailing I believe. Take out 'akin to', and 'I encircle', and you're word perfect :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd lovely words they are too.
Soothing mantralike little poem.
Thanks so much aprille, and now i see the error, im still learning..ill edit it asap.
ReplyDeleteNicely meditative, Asteria! I love the idea of a 'butterfly riding rainbow dreams.'
ReplyDeletethanks mary,the poetry sabatical has ended for me..
DeleteThis is so vibrant in image and spiritual feeling...love that the "rosaries blink like stars!"
ReplyDeleteWell done!
hey hannah,i have attempted something cheerful after a long time.
DeleteThis form does seem to focus the thoughts inward. Very soothing to read.
ReplyDeletetried for first time,still learning the syllable art.
Deleteserene and peaceful words well placed .. peaceful !!
ReplyDeletethsnk you..
DeleteNice, soothing words that stir thoughts. Nice chant to intone.
ReplyDeletei hope this state continues...:)
DeleteMay the peace and calmness guide you to your destiny :-)
ReplyDeleteamen!!
Deletespiritual and peaceful!
ReplyDeletethank you..:)
DeleteThe opening lines are very soothing to read ~I specially like rosaries blink like stars ~ Thank you for linking up to Sunday Challenge ~
ReplyDeletethank you so much for such a creative challenge...looking forward to the next one.
Deletenice
ReplyDeletethanks ali..:)
DeleteNice, peaceful!
ReplyDeleteLove it especially "rosaries blink like stars" that is such amazing imagery
ReplyDelete